D2L: Sassy KickAssy Destroys Guy in Grey T-Shirt in Halftime Musical Chairs

D2L: Sassy KickAssy Destroys Guy in Grey T-Shirt in Halftime Musical Chairs Photo credit: Nicole Cottom

LANSING, MI – In perhaps one of the most exciting games* of the entire weekend, the last halftime competition of the Lansing playoffs brought together ten random people who competed for title of Musical Chairs Champion. Though each competitor brought strong offensive strategy to the table, the game ended with Sassy KickAssy from Nidaros Roller Derby clenching the win over Guy in Grey T-Shirt** in the last few seconds.

The game began with each competitor searching for a hat that they were not wearing. They were to find this in the crowd, and then to return to their seat to claim a spot in the next round of this high-intensity game. With one fewer opponent, the next task was to find a pair of sunglasses. After some extraordinary footwork from multiple players, Jollywood from Nidaros Roller Derby did not make the cut due to a misunderstanding of the item needed to move forward in the competition, finding a cell phone instead of sunglasses. She was forced to give up her hard-earned seat and return to the stands.

With only six players remaining, the competition really heated up. The next task was to find a cell phone, and a good fight was had to secure the final seat. Ultimately, we lost yet another tribute. Throughout this, a tiny junior roller derby skater, Gouda Grief, was holding her own amidst a sea of adults, proving to be an inspiration for athletes everywhere.

Gouda would have her best round yet when tasked to find a roller skate. She took the second seat, and patiently waited for the others. Through this, we lost yet another adult participant. Unfortunately, Gouda did not make it through to the top three, as she was unable to find a t-shirt she was not wearing to claim her spot in the melodious chair circle. (Although, multiple people in the crowd had whipped off their own shirts, and offered it to those in the game.)

In the next round, a skate tool was the ticket to victory, and we were left with Sassy KickAssy from Nidaros Roller Derby and Guy in Grey T-Shirt. The competition looked fierce and focused, and the crowd was on their feet in anticipation for the final round of this game. After much tension, the music stopped, and the final task was announced: to find a microphone.

Sassy KickAssy took down the announcer in an aggressive but clean hit, and emerged with the microphone (while wearing a dress mind you). Grey T-shirt showed some nice defense, preventing KickAssy from being able to sit in the chair, but he was no match for her footwork. She sat in the chair, securing the victory, and then stood upon her throne triumphantly. The crowd went wild at this enormous last-minute win.

When asked how it felt to win this important game, KickAssy said “This just feels really good. After traveling all this way, and coming in ninth place in the tournament, it feels like now we’re heading home with another important win.”

Guy in Grey T-Shirt was unavailable for interview following the competition.

*The first game of music chairs on Saturday had an amazing last round finish by Michelle O’Bombya who carried her competitor (who was holding the microphone) to the last chair and sat down. 

**It was later confirmed that Guy in Grey T-Shirt was Code Adam.

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